When we were children, we were all taught the little rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Even as we were learning it, though, I think in the backs of our minds we knew there is more to words than the harmless things the poem makes them out to be.
A well-timed and –placed word can virtually derail a life and send it spiraling off to depression, anger and any other number of deep, dark places. A word spoken in secret to the right person can hinder a career.
Words do hurt, and we know that as we become more aware of verbal abuse and mental anquish. Tell a person they’re not good enough often enough and long enough, they will begin to agree with the assessment. Let them know they’ll never be worthy, they will come to believe it.
One of my favorite parts of the movie, “The Help,” is when Viola Davis’ character, Aibileen Clark, told the little girl she looked after, “You are smart, you are kind, you are important.” Aibileen understood the importance of words, and she did her best to instill inner strength and pride into a child. She understood the true beauty of a person comes from within.
Our world tells us it’s all right to call people names, to belittle a person or a group of people different than ourselves. I remember one political campaign years ago when one of the candidates was running with a stress on law and order. I was watching an interview, and the politician used the words “thugs” and other deprecations in describing people who he thought were criminal.
Is name calling consistent with what the Bible teaches? Is it all right to dismiss a person with a derogatory title or nickname?
What Did Jesus Say?
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell” (Matthew 5:21-22).
When Jesus began the Sermon on the Mount as recorded in Matthew 5-7, He began with affirming that He had come to fulfill the Law and the Prophets. He also said we have a duty to obey the Law and Prophets. He then said we have to have a righteousness that exceeded that of the Pharisees if we hoped to enter the kingdom of heaven. What follows are a number of Old Testament sayings and Pharisaic interpretations, then Jesus adds His own interpretation. Jesus’ point is that the letter of the Law matters, but the greater importance is in the spirit of the Law. It’s not what we do that matters so much as why we do it.
In this first example Jesus uses, He talks about the heinous crime of murder. Jesus extends the meaning of the crime to include anger with others, as well as contempt and name calling. He says that anger is just as bad as murder. He then references calling someone “Raca,” which is an Aramaic term that can be translated as a vain person, someone who is all about appearances but having no depth. He follows that with the contemptible phrase, “You fool!” and concludes that such a person is worthy of the flames of hell.
In other words, it’s not enough not to get angry; we must refrain from looking down on people and treating them with the contempt that is associated with name-calling.
Why is this so?
Jesus taught that each person has value and worth in God’s eyes, and therefore must have the same value and worth in our eyes. Jesus’ life exemplified the way we demonstrate our love for God is the way we love our fellow man (cf. 1 John 4:20-21). When offered the opportunities to condemn people for the sins in which they had been caught, Jesus was unwilling to condemn, even if He didn’t deny the sinful act. Look at His interaction with the woman at the well in John 4, the rich young ruler, even Judas when Jesus knew that Judas was to betray Him. Consistently, Jesus’ words and actions let us know that no one is unworthy of God’s love and mercy, and therefore, no one is unworthy of our love and acceptance.
But, wait a minute. Didn’t Jesus sometimes call people names? Perhaps the phrase, “You brood of vipers” comes to mind. In Matthew 23, Jesus refers to the Pharisees as “blind guides,” “hypocrites,” “snakes” and a “brood of vipers.” That sounds like name calling to me.
On the surface, such an argument seems to carry a lot of weight, refuting what He taught in Matthew 5. So what’s the deal? Again, look at the context. In Matthew 23, Jesus is confronting the Pharisees with the hypocrisy of their words and their actions. Basically, Jesus is telling the Pharisees that they talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk, and they condemn others for not walking the walk they themselves refuse to walk. Yes, Jesus uses derogatory terms to refer to the Pharisees, but Jesus is speaking directly to them, and He’s using the words to drive home His point.
In contrast, the Matthew 5 verses speak more along the lines of what we say about people, not to them. Yes, “You fool!” is more than likely being said directly to someone, but the term “you fool” is not designed to draw attention to the hypocrisy of the crowd. Jesus was trying to get the attention of the Pharisees, not dismissing them as people worthy of His attention or compassion. Matthew 23 can be seen as a call of repentance to the Pharisees, a desire on Jesus’ part to reach out to them and help them. Matthew 5 is simply the dismissal of a person for one reason or another—disagreement over politics or something else.
The point of the name calling, at least in the context of the Gospels, is that the value of a person should not be cavalierly dismissed, and the use of a slur or insulting name is the way we most often note our contempt.
Again, it goes back to the Golden Rule, which Jesus used at the end of the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus stated that the Golden Rule fulfills the Laws and Prophets and produces a righteousness greater than the Pharisees. The point of the Golden Rule is to treat each person, either the individual or the group, with the same respect and compassion we would want given to us if the roles were reversed.
Paul’s Example
There are two passages in Paul’s letters to the Corinthians that reflect Paul’s belief that name calling is inappropriate for the believer who follows Jesus. The first speaks to the matter of how we are to treat others when we are mistreated, and the second is how we relate to those who are different from us.
“We work hard with our hands. When we are cursed we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly. Up to this moment, we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world” (1 Corinthians 4:12-13).
These verses come in the midst of Paul chastising the Corinthians for their misplaced pride in themselves. They have taken some issues, blown them all out of proportion and declared themselves more spiritual than others in the church there. Paul writes the above words to remind them of what his life as an apostle is like. In these words, we see Paul living out the Golden Rule, and giving value to those who do not value him at all. It is our natural tendency to “fight fire with fire,” but that should not be and is not the spiritual tendency.
Earlier in the passage, Paul writes, “Now, brothers, I have applied these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, so that you can learn from us the meaning of the saying, ‘Do not go beyond what is written.’ Then you will not take pride in one man over against another. For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?” (1 Corinthians 4:6-7). In these words, we can hear the echo of Jesus’ words in Matthew 5. The Corinthians prided themselves in their great wisdom, but Paul was pointing out they weren’t really all that wise in the ways of God, which is what really matters. In using these words, Paul reminds the readers and us that they and we are no different from everyone or anyone else. Each of us is in need of God’s grace and mercy, of His forgiveness and direction through the Holy Spirit. All that we have comes from God, and if someone lacks what we have, our attitude should be one of humble gratitude to God, not condescending looks and words directed at the others.
In 1 Corinthians 9, Paul writes about reaching different people, ministering in an effort to share Christ. “Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (although I myself am not under the law) so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessing” (1 Corinthians 9:19-23).
When I first read these words, I thought Paul was a bit of a hypocrite. He plays like he’s anything to go along with the people around him, trying to blend in. But I was sadly and badly mistaken.
Paul is an evangelist, and as an evangelist he has a heart for winning the lost. Toward that end, he will seek to identify with the people he comes in contact with. He can relate to the Jews because Paul himself was raised as a Jew. By the same token, those who were under the law were no problem for him, since Paul himself once considered himself to be perfect under the law.
Put it this way, Paul was trying to relate to those with whom he spoke not to blend in, but to break down the walls we tend to build against those different than we are. Suppose I wanted to talk with you and create a type of relationship. As I walk up to you, I see you wearing a Dallas Cowboys jersey. I personally am not a Cowboys fan. Don’t really like them at all. However, living in the area of Texas not too far from Dallas, I hear a lot about the Cowboys. As I approach you, I can do one of two things. I can tell you one of my favorite NFL teams is whoever is playing the Cowboys, or I can begin to talk Cowboys football with you. Which is more likely to tear down the wall that divides us? The prudent thing is to “become” a Cowboys fan in order to relate to you.
Is that hypocrisy? Am I using a relationship in order to win you over? It can be seen that way, but it really depends upon my heart and motives. If my wanting to develop a relationship with you is based upon my genuine Christlike love for all people, then I am not going to use the relationship for an ulterior motive. Sure, I’ll share the gospel, but I won’t drop you if you choose not to accept. You are my friend, and I will want to continue to be your friend. As the friendship develops, I will eventually let you know that I’m not so much a Cowboys fan as a Vikings fan, but I’ll still value your appreciation for the Cowboys.
That’s what Paul is doing. Rather than accentuate the differences, he embraces them and looks past them. We cannot overlook the differences if we use slurs and harmful names to describe those who are different from us.
Conclusion
The Bible is very clear that relationships are very important. Our relationship with God is paramount. We relate to God and that relationship then shapes the way we relate to the world around us. We accept and embraces God’s love and forgiveness, and in return, we extend that same love and forgiveness to others.
With this realization, and looking at Jesus’ words in Matthew and Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians, we should reasonably come to the conclusion that derogatory terms and words must have no part in our vocabulary. The vindictive words and phrases we see and hear in our current society must not be a part of our lives. After all, to follow Christ is to be transformed by His Spirit, not conformed to our world.
Rise above, and let the light of Jesus shine forth from us.
© 2019 Glynn Beaty