“O Lord, You have searched me and You know me. . . . You perceive my thoughts from afar. . . .You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue You know it completely, O Lord” (Psalm 139:1-4).
“And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him” (Matthew 6:7-8).
We live in a world where we often guard ourselves. We try our best to always put our best foot forward in order to make ourselves most presentable and acceptable to our world. It’s because we try to put our best foot forward that we have to guard our words and our actions. One false move and it can all become unraveled.
Almost all of us have insecurities, real or imagined. We use various elements designed to hide the insecurity or to distract from it. We all have areas of our lives where we don’t want anyone in lest they see the real us and come to loathe us as a result.
Not everyone is like this, of course. But it is very, very rare when we run across a person that is always open and honest about themselves and the way the really are.
To be sure, there are people with whom we can let down our guard. Close friends and family are more likely to see us as we really are, but even there we keep a guard on ourselves.
We are even good at hiding from ourselves. We begin to see ourselves as we want to see ourselves, not as we really are. Years ago, I saw a picture of myself and was amazed at how large I looked. Sure, I saw myself in the mirror every morning, but the picture was a profile and I looked like a large blue ball (I was wearing a blue shirt in the photo). Sometimes, we see ourselves, literally and/or figuratively, not as we are, but as we want to be.
All this hiding and feinting, all this obscuring and guarding keeps us from being free with one another. We live in a world when people seem quick to judge and condemn. It’s become more and more difficult not to say or do something that doesn’t offend someone.
And even when we try to be honest and open, it’s not unusual for people to take us completely out of context and mistake our message for something completely different. It’s frustrating trying to state a position only to be misheard or misquoted. Even when we try to clarify, we are still misunderstood.
Why?
People read what they want to read, see what they want to see and ignore everything else. That’s why we have to guard ourselves and protect ourselves. That’s why we are afraid to be free around people, sometimes even the people we know best.
There is one relationship where we don’t have to do that. There’s one relationship where we can’t do that. That’s our relationship with God. As the two verses that began this paper reminds us, God knows us better than we know ourselves. And in that knowledge, we find the freedom to speak with Him openly and honestly, without fear of rejection or ridicule.
Prayer and Emotion
I love my wife. I really do. I’m amazed she’s able to put up with all she’s had to put with married to me. I love my wife. But sometimes, I don’t really like her. Maybe she’s done something that I’ve chosen to get mad at. Maybe she’s said something that has hurt my feeling and I withdraw. There are any number of ways that I can love someone but not really like them in the moment.
That even applies to our relationship with God.
There are times we are frustrated with Him. There are times we are confused by Him. Yes, there are times we are angry with God. At those times, we may not feel much like praying, but those are the times we need to pray most.
And when we come to God in those times, the last thing we need to do is pretend like everything’s hunky dory between us and Him. Remember the two verses? He knows our innermost thoughts and knows what we’re going to say before we say it. It seems ludicrous, then, to come to God with anger in our heart toward Him (or toward anyone) and begin with, “O God, how grateful I am to be able to lift up my concerns in prayer.”
First, we should be grateful we can lift our concerns Him in prayer, but isn’t it more honest to begin the prayer with, “God, I’m really mad at You (or at someone else), and I want to know what You’re going to do about it. How could You let this happen (or not happen, as the case may be)?” As we pour out our emotions to Him, He listens, He waits and, when the time is right, we hear His voice.
Remember Elijah in 1 Kings 18-19? In these two chapters, Elijah follows God’s will and challenges the priests of Baal to a contest between Baal and God. The challenge is both will prepare an offering and the god who sends fire to burn the offering will be the one Israel will worship. The short version is God wins convincingly, and Elijah has a great day. One of those mountain top experiences. What can go wrong?
Then Jezebel, the queen of Israel, hears about the disaster that has befallen her priests, and sends word that she is out to get Elijah to the point that he’ll be sorry he was ever born. Immediately, Elijah’s mountain top experience is turned into the dark day of the soul. He flees. He runs as far as he can. God asks him why he’s running. Elijah responds, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected Your covenant, broken down Your altars, and put Your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they want to kill me too” (1 Kings 19:10).
Elijah was down in the dumps, having a bad case of “Woe is me,” or possibly genuine depression. His prayer is a whine. And to his credit, Elijah didn’t try to hide his anxiety.
God’s response was to send Elijah into a cave and to listen. God then sends a powerful thunderstorm, a tornado and an earthquake. But God is not in any of them. It is only when Elijah hears a still quiet that he hears the voice of God. Leaving the cave, Elijah is again asked by God what he’s running from. Elijah restates the concern and God assures him that God is in control, that Elijah is not alone. Then God gives Elijah some more tasks.
The point of the passage is that our emotions can be all over the place, sometimes in a matter of minutes. In those times, we have the freedom to speak to God openly and honestly about what we’re feeling and why we’re feeling it. God will listen and He will answer us. Sometimes, the prayer is a way for us to vent, and, after venting, we can then come to God with statements of faith in Him and praise and gratitude for Him.
Because God knows us so well, better than we know ourselves, we can be free from fear of expressing ourselves to God.
(c) 2018 Glynn Beaty